When Kids Refuse Dinner: Desi Dishes That Often Get Eaten

"I don't like it" before the plate even lands

Your child ate the same daal happily last Thursday. Tonight the plate is pushed away before the first bite. Picky phases come and go, and no recipe fixes them. What a cook can do is lower the number of fights by serving food in a form a child can accept, and by not making a second dinner every night.

This is not medical or nutrition advice. If your child eats very few foods, or you are worried about weight or growth, talk to your doctor or a paediatric dietitian. Below is only what to cook and how to plate it for picky kids' dinner ideas that suit a desi table.

Dishes that often get through

"Often" is the honest word. Every child is different. These are dishes from our library that tend to suit fussy eaters because they are mild, soft, familiar or easy to eat with hands.

Chicken macaroni. 300 g (10.5 oz) macaroni, 400 g (0.9 lb) boneless chicken strips and a tomato-ketchup sauce, 10 minutes of prep and 25 to cook. It looks like pasta, which helps. Cook the chicken until there is no pink and it reaches 74 C (165 F).

Aloo paratha. Mashed potato inside a pan-fried flatbread. Children who reject vegetables often accept potato. Cut it into wedges and serve with plain yogurt. It needs 25 minutes of prep and about 15 to cook, so it is a weekend dish more than a Tuesday one.

Anday wala bread. Spiced egg toast, 8 minutes of prep and 12 to cook. For a younger child, leave out the green chilli or serve the chilli separately for the adults. Cook the egg through, with no runny parts.

Matar pulao. Fragrant but mild rice with peas. Fish the whole spices out before serving. Cardamom pods and cloves are unpleasant to bite into.

Khichdi. Rice and mung beans cooked soft, with ghee on top. It is gentle enough for the smallest eaters and warm enough for the sick-day plate.

Aloo matar. Potato and peas in a mild gravy. The recipe page notes that children like it. Serve the gravy on the side if your child objects to "wet" food.

Kheer. Not dinner, but a small bowl after dinner is a usual compromise in many households. We would not use it as a reward for eating, which tends to teach the wrong lesson, but a regular small dessert after the meal is fine.

Four changes that cost nothing

1. Cook the chilli separately. Make the base mild, and give adults chilli powder, chopped green chilli or pickle at the table. This is the single biggest difference in a family dinner.
2. Change the texture, not the dish. A child who rejects whole peas may eat them mashed into potato. A child who rejects soft rice may eat it fried. Same food, different form.
3. Serve food separately. Many children dislike foods touching. Put curry in a small bowl beside the rice.
4. Cut things smaller. Chicken strips instead of large pieces, potato wedges instead of chunks, half a paratha instead of a whole one.

One meal, two versions

You do not have to cook two dinners. Cook one base and split it before the last step.

• Keema or chicken curry: take out a portion before adding the chilli and extra masala, and finish the adult portion separately. Mince must reach 71 C (160 F) in both pots.
• Pulao: make it with whole spices and a little salt; add raita, pickle and fried onions at the table.
• Daal: pour the garlic tarka over the adults' bowls, and give a child plain daal with a little ghee.

Our post on picky eaters and one meal, two versions goes further.

What not to do

• Do not hide vegetables and then announce it. It tends to damage trust.
• Do not argue at the table. Put the food down, say it is dinner, and leave it. Pressure often makes refusal worse.
• Do not make a new dish on demand. Put one familiar item on the table next to the new dish, such as plain rice, bread or yogurt, so there is always something safe.
• Do not offer snacks right before dinner. An hour of juice and biscuits will undo any recipe.

Let them help, a little

Children are more likely to try something they helped make. They can wash peas, tear coriander, press potato into a bowl or stir cold ingredients. Keep them away from hot oil. Even three minutes of involvement is enough.

If you want the kids to have a say, the kids' dinner vote post covers how to give them a real choice between two dishes you are happy to cook, which cuts the "I didn't pick this" argument. Degchi has a family dinner vote that can be set up like this, but a paper note on the fridge works too.

A food-safety reminder for lunchboxes

If tonight's dinner is tomorrow's lunch, refrigerate it within 2 hours of cooking, and reheat it until steaming hot (75 C or 165 F) before packing it. A lunchbox that sits warm in a bag for hours is a risk. Use an insulated container for hot food, or pack it cold and plan to heat it at school if that is allowed.

A seven-night rotation for a fussy house

A tidy rotation is a calmer house. Change it when the children change.